You Suck As a Parent

Have you ever just had one of those days, where you feel like you do everything wrong as a parent? Today I feel like a total failure.  Despite every effort to make him happy, Jace has cried most of the day, looking at me like I am just not understanding what he needs. I had him in his sling, and he bumped his head because I wasn't paying attention. And also, I have a migraine. And a toothache.  I have been in another world all day, my head in the clouds. I have zoned out at every opportunity, just needing a mental break. I mean I just wanna work on my new found knitting hobby, without interruption. How hard is that?

In short, I have not really been the best parent I can be today. And I feel super guilty for that.

But doesn't every parent have a day like that? Where everything seems to go wrong, where you just don't have 110 % to give? I'm sure at one point we all feel like that. Except for Amanda, because I asked her if she ever feels that way, and she said no. She did, afterall score "Effortlessly Cool" on the "What Kind of Parent Are You" Quiz.

But for the rest of us....There are those days.

On top of everything else, I haven't been to the gym in over a week. I can feel my stomach starting to jiggle, like a bowl of lumpy pink jello. Ugh. I'm just so gross.

So what do you do at times like this? How do you cope with being a self professed worst parent of the day?


1. GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF. But just a minute. Seriously, not much longer than an hour, and then you have to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, and let it go. Stop being so neurotic. Chances are, your child doesn't really notice that you've had your mind on other things, have been aloof. They still think of you as a superhero. And superhero's don't pout. So acknowledge that you're upset, then move on, bitch.

2. TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOURSELF. Chances are, if you are zoning out, and you're starting to not feel good, it's because you need a short break from the wonderful wide world of parenting. Ask your spouse to take your little one for as little as 15 minutes, as long as a couple hours. You will be your best self if you are refreshed and have had time for you. To do nothing, and to not have to be on "go".

3. PAMPER YOURSELF. I'm not a big advocate of the "me, me, me, you deserve it" mentality of our generation. Rather, I'm all about what you can do for others, how you can help. But when you're starting to feel like a crappy parent, See Rule Three, and then make sure to use that time doing something for you. Paint your toes, see a movie, masturbate or have sex with your lovah. Watch a half an hour of Antiques Roadshow or Keeping up with the Kardashians. Whatever floats your boat. Just make sure it's for you, and you only.

4. REMEMBER YOU'RE ONLY HUMAN. Every parent is going to fuck up once and a while. No one can be perfect all the time, except for apparently, Amanda.

And Lastly,

5. DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.  The more you stress about it, the more you will stress about it. Just let it go and move on.

Oh yeah,

and get some sleep. Most of this whineyness could probably be prevented by getting enough sleep.
Then start again tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, where you'll probably be a better parent, and you'll probably feel better about yourself. Remember too, there will be a balance of things. Some days, you will go to sleep with a smile. Some days you will feel like you were a rockstar parent. Those days are just as important too. And they're the days you're little ones will remember best anyway.