The Darkside

Agitation.

A state of being.
Being agitated.

Things that are agitated. Clothes. The pant legs of mothers. Molecules. 
Me. 

The downside of pregnancy. Maybe a lot of people don't talk about it. Maybe even some don't experience it. But I doubt that. 
Sometimes one simple word or phrase from another person can set you off, and your whacky hormones into a blind tailspin of agitation. It doesn't have to be rational even. Today I am tired, my face feels swollen- one giant wet raisin left out in a pool of milk on the countertop. I want to nap. Every fiber in my being is begging me to lie still, to shut my eyes and sleep. But I can't. I never can. And then agitation becomes homicidal rage. So I wont even try. 
The worst part is knowing you're being irrational, but not being able to control your emotions. Not being able to control anything at all. Anything. 
So go with them, I say. Be irrational, be angry, be in a rage. 
But try to do it quietly. Take some time for yourself. Do whatever it is that makes you feel better, or like a stun gun between the eyes, makes you forget, at least for a little while, what you were so upset about in the first place. Hopefully by then it will have passed, and instead you'll be crying over a Cheerios commercial about dead mothers. Or laughing hysterically at the fishy little flip flops the baby is doing inside of your gut. Make the time pass with the emotional temper tantrum you are having, but don't go around it, go through it. 
Reward yourself in the end. 
A bath. Fantasies of caramel colored whiskey in an icy tumbler. Going to bed early. Chili cheese fries. 
Oh....and....
A word to husbands/partners/lovers:

Stay away, or come close. Or do whatever it is we are asking you. Even if it's only with our crazy, glaze eyed stare. Figure it out, it's in your best interest. Keep coming up with ideas until you've hit the jackpot, or die trying. Really it's in everyone's best interest, the days pregnant women become agitated.